Chapter 1
A long time ago...
EXAM
Even today sometimes I do hear her voice. She doesn't show up normally just on any occassion. If I am tired out of any celebration she wouldn't be there but if pained,in the hearth of heart,injured or in any difficuilty. I do hear her voice. She doesn't talk about my trouble but she talks pointless beyond the pivot even today. Even today she's as deflected and diverted as was then. This has concereted my belief about our worlds being totally different. Nothing has really changed.
Today,I woke up in a haste as today is my examination and I had no clue that what am I upto or whether I would really be taking it over the par or not. It may sound quite diminished and it being a mere exam but well,there are two things about a situation. We believe things to be just some solid whorls scarcely untill we ourselves are into that thing,then it begins to become complex and detailed. Another thing is be like that no problem of the world is actually as complex as it seems to be for the meanwhile we are into it. For me,its a decision of my life further.
Whether I would be living it peacefully or not.
She came today. I was composing a poetry,yesternight. When did I begin dozing is beyond my memory . I was be seated on the dining table. My lamp was facing me and it was the only person after me to read what I was writing. My pen had a continious movement and it was not pulsating, My thoughts were running as if its raining on me,an eternal rain. I could write endlessly untill she made me sleep. She often does it and it seems as if she's paying the debts back. Debt of the days when I untangled her locks and put her to sleep.
I dont remember though that how did it happen. But there surely is one thing that I know and it be that all those days when I was an insomniac,since always till now,She has made me sleep. I assumed her sitting beside me. Elaborating,it be like that if I was there doing my work on the dining table and being exhausted if decided to rest,I would have put my head down on the table and so she would have,as she would have been seated in front of me ,facing me. We shared a peaceful silence. I often ended up believing that she is looking at me asleep,as she has always loved doing it. In this way,I generally sleep. We have always coexisted,except once. And that once, one of us survived in one way and another did in another.
That day it was dawn within a few minutes of my sleep and it was followed by the morning. It was her then to únsnarl the curtains. I could see her face shined by the sun rays,even the sun was glarring at her,the sun rays touching the window filtered by her eye lashes and hair and bouncing through the adamant stones of her earrings were falling on me. Her smile outshined the sun and ofcourse then the lamp was nothing. She moved towards me and switched the lamp off,all that I was doing was looking at her and moving my head,following her. She went inside then,it was a tenterhook moment,to let go her from around my eyes once again. Then she returned soon with a cloak in her hands. She wrapped it around me. Taking it from my back,covering my neck,she ensured that my chest is covered fine. I felt her cold frail fingers to be warm. She passed from beside me. I would exaggerate if I would say that her veil went through my face,soothing my soul from beneath. Her description did not include these things,she has always been very open. If I am to define her with honesty I would say that it was her if she had splashed water on my face in order to get me concious fully. And had laughed on me whole during while I had scolded her.
Today was a different day. She just sat beside me,on the chair ,actually the only chair on the whole dinning table.
I prefer dining table over study table because thats how she can sit beside me. She within no time had her head down on the table and was looking at me. She pushed the glass of water forward ,towards me and nodded such that I am thristy? Yes,I was. It was so I guess because she was nervous for tomorrow,for herself. I rarely have seen her this composed. I smiled looking at her,she smiled with her eyes,closed them then...Some minutes later,She was asleep. I raised my hand to stroke through her hair.I woke up,realizing that I had spilled water all over the table. I stood and thought to have it dry and warm,so that she may sit there. It was 2 a.m. that time. I dried the place. I went to my room,unplugged the room heater and adjusted it in the dinning room so that she may sleep or whatever she likes. I left the place,leaving the notepad open so that she won't need my help to open it for her. She comes to me when she needs me,no offence. I have asked her such.
Anyway,I had actually struck the palate covering the rim of glass that time,I went to kitchen then,realizing what she had before me. I drank water for real and then went into the room wrapping up myself with a cloak.
Either of them come to see me each night. Sometimes its her, rest of the time its my fear. Fear of fearing? Its all demolition,destruction,harangues,massacres and similar all.. they point me. I am the pivot. I am surviving for her.
After all,I should cheer up. I have felt her today !
TO BE CONTINUED...
Does it require to continue ?
Today,I woke up in a haste as today is my examination and I had no clue that what am I upto or whether I would really be taking it over the par or not. It may sound quite diminished and it being a mere exam but well,there are two things about a situation. We believe things to be just some solid whorls scarcely untill we ourselves are into that thing,then it begins to become complex and detailed. Another thing is be like that no problem of the world is actually as complex as it seems to be for the meanwhile we are into it. For me,its a decision of my life further.
Whether I would be living it peacefully or not.
She came today. I was composing a poetry,yesternight. When did I begin dozing is beyond my memory . I was be seated on the dining table. My lamp was facing me and it was the only person after me to read what I was writing. My pen had a continious movement and it was not pulsating, My thoughts were running as if its raining on me,an eternal rain. I could write endlessly untill she made me sleep. She often does it and it seems as if she's paying the debts back. Debt of the days when I untangled her locks and put her to sleep.I dont remember though that how did it happen. But there surely is one thing that I know and it be that all those days when I was an insomniac,since always till now,She has made me sleep. I assumed her sitting beside me. Elaborating,it be like that if I was there doing my work on the dining table and being exhausted if decided to rest,I would have put my head down on the table and so she would have,as she would have been seated in front of me ,facing me. We shared a peaceful silence. I often ended up believing that she is looking at me asleep,as she has always loved doing it. In this way,I generally sleep. We have always coexisted,except once. And that once, one of us survived in one way and another did in another.
That day it was dawn within a few minutes of my sleep and it was followed by the morning. It was her then to únsnarl the curtains. I could see her face shined by the sun rays,even the sun was glarring at her,the sun rays touching the window filtered by her eye lashes and hair and bouncing through the adamant stones of her earrings were falling on me. Her smile outshined the sun and ofcourse then the lamp was nothing. She moved towards me and switched the lamp off,all that I was doing was looking at her and moving my head,following her. She went inside then,it was a tenterhook moment,to let go her from around my eyes once again. Then she returned soon with a cloak in her hands. She wrapped it around me. Taking it from my back,covering my neck,she ensured that my chest is covered fine. I felt her cold frail fingers to be warm. She passed from beside me. I would exaggerate if I would say that her veil went through my face,soothing my soul from beneath. Her description did not include these things,she has always been very open. If I am to define her with honesty I would say that it was her if she had splashed water on my face in order to get me concious fully. And had laughed on me whole during while I had scolded her.
Today was a different day. She just sat beside me,on the chair ,actually the only chair on the whole dinning table.
I prefer dining table over study table because thats how she can sit beside me. She within no time had her head down on the table and was looking at me. She pushed the glass of water forward ,towards me and nodded such that I am thristy? Yes,I was. It was so I guess because she was nervous for tomorrow,for herself. I rarely have seen her this composed. I smiled looking at her,she smiled with her eyes,closed them then...Some minutes later,She was asleep. I raised my hand to stroke through her hair.I woke up,realizing that I had spilled water all over the table. I stood and thought to have it dry and warm,so that she may sit there. It was 2 a.m. that time. I dried the place. I went to my room,unplugged the room heater and adjusted it in the dinning room so that she may sleep or whatever she likes. I left the place,leaving the notepad open so that she won't need my help to open it for her. She comes to me when she needs me,no offence. I have asked her such.Anyway,I had actually struck the palate covering the rim of glass that time,I went to kitchen then,realizing what she had before me. I drank water for real and then went into the room wrapping up myself with a cloak.
Either of them come to see me each night. Sometimes its her, rest of the time its my fear. Fear of fearing? Its all demolition,destruction,harangues,massacres and similar all.. they point me. I am the pivot. I am surviving for her.
After all,I should cheer up. I have felt her today !
TO BE CONTINUED...
Does it require to continue ?
IT DOES
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