Chapter 3

♡THE DOPPEL GANGER♡

Today I saw a girl child, She was fastened with a rope. Actually,I am working on a project. I wanted peace for the upcoming month. Upcoming month is the same month when she helped me,saving me from her hearse even. I needed to stay away from those memories because they might have haunted me . The place,the aura and everything ! The sky beneath that land even stares at me with annoyed air,stars,moon and sun.. But she? She even then saves me from them. Every morning she wakes me up and every night puts me to sleep,mostly..
I did not know that who she is but watching her there sitting alone into the dessert on the hot sand. Her bare thighs touched the boiled sand. Her skirt was old and tatter
ed. She was eating sand! I went close to her,bent down and with eye postures asked her that what is she upto and I offered my vacant hand towards her. She acted as if she's red handed caught while eating sand and surprisingly giggled when I sat down folding my legs. Being a little child even she wasn't at all afraid of me,though me being a stranger. I again raised my hand of offering,she this time put sand on my hands. I took her over my lap. I guess she must be 3 years old,hardly? So clean ,she did not have even a single scar on her skin. Her giggles were soothing me,cleaning me,purifying me. The only thing that was painful for my eyes was the way she was tied. There was a hut,near her. That hut actually had an elongated roof and that roof was supported by two bamboos over the adjacent corners. The baby girl was tied to one of those crutch.
I do remember that when I had lost her,I slept there for the whole night,at the same edge where here cloak was hung. In the morning, as I woke up something which was in front of me annhilated me from inside. It was the torns of cloth that were tied to the bottom of the pillar as if someone was tied there.. I made no researchs. I wasn't neither I am strong enough. I did nothing to anyone. Dissapointing?
To you ,not to me.. Abundance of things to fight with ? Isn't it? Her thoughts,people's thought,distinct realities,distinct truths,my head,this world,the rules,the generosity,the truth,the lies,the fear .. But I decided to live as she wanted,I don't really understand how it is. Like ,you can think of a very little lasting moment of your life of dilemma and withdrawl,annhedonia etc,to be my life itself. I don't intend to qualify myself to your eyes. I represent weakness? Don't I? She will guide me. My mentor would,she has to.
I unfastened the legs of the baby girl and sat with her for all during the time. The sun was to set. I had my lunch with her. She was actually clutching the food and smashing it. It made me laugh in real,after so many days... Finally.
I fed her and in return she painted my face in order to make trial to feed me back. Anyway,I was in Rajasthan.
When her mother came,it was evening already. She asked me to stay. I couldnt because for sake of me,had already stayed my friend and I couldnt really betray his say on me.
She told me that she's a nomad,and its not just for today rather untill this baby girl gets mature to labour hard,she will be tied. So this way or that way she shall be tied. Tied girl. Tied girls. Her mother labours hard each day. Her father actually is nowhere,he left as soon as he heard about the child being a baby girl. Actually,as per her he had never expected that something would yield them a child. Till then since now,they live isolated. I am stunned that how openly she narrated me it all. But then,I guess her isolation was the very cause that she opened up so soon. She might have spent enormous days without talking to anyone,without anyone being aware about her misery. She bursted. I felt good rather.
We decided to drive sequencely,me and my friend. We departed from there. I h

ad no means to share her misery after this. Neither I could offer anything to her as it would have injured her pride and weaken her through the sympathy. I wish,she had a mobile phone? Or a tower for network. I am just sorry for her. I feel to be a male feminist. Why shouldn't I?
I would never meet her again,nor that beautiful,neat hearted child. So many people, So many I have let go.
We drove. First was him to do so. When he was driving,it wasn't even if I could sum up that we are repeating at the same place,as there weren't even the resembling trees. It was just the barren land and lots and lots of sand. I was seated at the back seat. I realized that how fine do the children dilute with me now? Earlier,I wasn't there preference at all. Rather as we two,me and she walked upto children,they used to be as if I ain't even there and if there,they were scared generally. Well,she's alive into me,this means ! My catastrophy, the she, is speaking loud through my her preferred baritone. Time flung.
It was my turn now and these hours were going to be the ending duration of driving. That was trouble now. What if she comes again? Its fine,she would know that I am driving.
I almost had completed the off road and was on the highway now. My buddy was asleep on the seat adjacent to me. The road was completely vaccant. I could accelerate the car like any jet but I didn't even this behold her memory.Her safety. She loved sitting into the car with the window shields down and the wind blowing through her face. Not many a times,but twice has been such that I drove and she took the ride with me. I don't really have preference for driving vehicles but for her,I loved to be a driver. And I am narrating all this because today she was there ! Yes,right there. On the back seat. She was sitting beside me,I could see her through the rear view . She was singing ! As soon as I saw her there behind me,for a moment I turned my face from there and suddenly as I realized its her,is as soon she begun singing with low humming and my world became a fairy tale .She has known me to be a smooth driver in all way !
After some of the 15 mintues the voice went low and she stopped singing because she was asleep. So,now I was to drive even carefully because I at any cost couldn't hamper her dreaming. I know its a bit selfish I mean,my buddy was asleep too but I still drove careless sometimes but now I had an extreme care about it. Either way. Have you been out after it rained? The petrichor? Do you know about it? The smell of soil after rain that actually is damn beautiful,I too have a kind of petrichor feel around me when its. It may make me seem silly to your eyes but even today if I am passing by and I find any even a bit of her evidence, like her fragrance I do follow it. I could feel her exhaled air getting into me,the same air she was BREATHING in,was the same what I was ! That wind,that dark night and glowing streets lights seeming to follow till eternal,infact even the lane divisions seemed never ending. I had breath that day more than usually what I do. The very reason behind my happiness that day was that I drove for her now thrice ! I was focused and equanimous.I have began to feel more than ever since her.
The sun began to rise. The birds were chirping now and I could see road side hawkers setting up their shops. They came quite early and maybe that was their usual because I saw their residents nearby. I stopped the car near one of the vendor and went to ask him the CHAI,well that was how I was wished good morning everyday untill I lost her. I know that was against her and now mine feminist rule,that why should she prepare it but she did it more because she loved it. Anyway,I took only one glass. She was asleep, yet it isn't the cause why I took just one. I opened the backseats door and got inside from the opposite side to which she was asleep. I took a sip and placed it on the side bar of the car. I was observing her closely . I pulled my upper abodmen towards her and tugged a hand behind her waist and pulled her through and the funniest part when she was muttering,"aain nain ..." I kept her head on my lamp and took one more sip of tea. She woke up then and was looking at me from down. Her intent eyes......
"Don't you get tired? By the way,you see I didn't let your dreaming get hamper? I drove well didn't I ?"
She raised her hand and stroked it on my face and was to speak something before which my friend came in between asking me if I was saying something. He was awaken too,now. She left.
He wasn't interested in having breakfast so we left the place soon. I drove the car and we reached the hotel. He was rechecking for the booking on the counter while I was watching through the antiques of the hotel. The paintings were beautiful. The professional things. Something unprofessional? What is it? I guess something that is priceless,has not been sold and is tangled emotionally. She always used to get me through those. They were great when she did those for others,even me. Its just that it had become so usual that it didn't have a really large effect on me. It was something very common. The trials of everything that she put effort into were big but I got absorbed somewhere. People had very complaints . I was infected with those. I would yet say that we had the most wonderful relation of all time. Our relation never attempted suicide for sake of some moment lasting troubles,we fought all way long with those miseries and even with each other sometimes but never let go it. It could make it out of this as well if she could make it,I mean if I could safeguard her for that once.
I was so drowned into my thoughts that I didn't even realize that he was calling me from behind to take the keys of the room. He approached me and had his hand around my shoulder and asked me if I have fallen for the Monalisa ? I could reply nothing.
I took the keys and went walking through the stairs,thinking," WHO KNOWS PERHAPS SHE MAY VISIT and we go upstairs talking together?"
How insane I am ? Ain't I?