Chapter 2

  How it began↢↢↢

I actually took the examination far more better than what I expected. I have invested almost 6 years of my life in recollecting,reassimilating,erasing and rewriting my mind to resemble it with her. I have taken the examination of Biology today,a total upside down of my world. She couldn't take it so I took it for her.  Such a fine piece of me or me being her. We weren't at all distinct. Its wonderful and sparse at the same time,isn't it? To have our aspirations achieved by someone else. I shall explain it saying that her thrist would quench if I drink water,my abrassion over the lips is a choke to her throat even if she be into any river of elixir.

It has been almost eight years since I last saw her. Although at the end,all that I wanted was to hold her tight enough that her hair could have flown out the crack of fist,with her head on my chest. I wanted to ask her to get up and never let it go but it would have been the most cruel thing that I might have ever done to her.
A sweet person❤,someone who understands it all. Can you guess that what changes people the most? Well,its nothing in particular. Something very big in accordance with respective lives can have it all upside down. I have either assumed it too far or this is it. I don't really know nor can I . She was as sweet as sugar,may be,to me. But then suddenly one day,she became a source of loathe and remained so. To me it was anguish and rudeness. She turned a granite to me now,dark and stiff. It was no serenpidity. I begin to store grudge for her and her actions. I had no patience to see through. I noticed that which was the easiest and the truth that suited me the most. Her reality isn't what I am acquainted with,even today,apparently. There's one thing for sure that I do know that she carved faith on my chest that piercing went through the heart.Although what I did for my ease was a slap on the face of TRUST. The thing about "once sweet now rude person" is that they are those who possess a strong shell,in a nutshell. If I go on explaining it,I may explain it through my "THE CLOT THEORY". I love literature and she loved me loving it. I though don't write much now,its like that I have lost the alchemy touching whom I used to reach the inspirations. Now its all dreadly dry.  A blood clot is something,that has the blood deposited over its surface. Its stronger than rest of the skin as it has been injured once. Its on the way to cure. What if someone keeps on hitting you at the same area? Or a number of people do it. It breaks and build in a cycle,again and again. It never reaches a normal state. Whereas for the people who are the mere auidence ,witness the clot for existing forever,regardless of the convict being silent about his hits.

I wasn't inhumane neither I am.

It was fun for them,for most of us but none of knew that it would stretch that long and worse.
It was an official collegue's get together. It was all sophisticated untill we were pulled upstairs;me and some of my mates. It was one my friend's innovation of indecency to try weeds. I denied,most of us did. He began to inhale it alone,he had it already twice, We were to stop him but he put forward the condition that he would not stop untill we try it once as he wants us to go through ALL THE EXPERIENCES of life. Moreover,that wouldn't be addicitive or hallucinative. Soon,it was a defy to our masculinity and machoism. Soon,everyone decided to respond in positive and the challenge was accepted. We don't remember it very discernible further as we weren't forewarned about our respective tolerance for it or that how does it affect the nervous system for the first time it being tried. Today,I know all about it,I wished I had those days even. Had I not been a posh society member,had I not been in the proffession where I am ,Had I not been befriend with them,Had I been with upto some distinct ambitions..

I remember her coming upstairs to drag me down to drive upto the home and drop me there over the bed to get some rest feeding me with the pills of insomniacs to this insomniac. I do remember how I was yelling looking at her trying to make her feel tormenting.
I was the one who made her care something "professional".I claimed myself for being her boss,as her primary agenda was to ensure my well being or whatever ,being the word for that moment and yet how adamant she was to me. They said it a lot to her about  being harlot or essex. I had mind it but I didn't really seem to say anything. For that moment it was soothing to me,absurd enough. Germinating hatred,I guess.  She heard none of it or may be did? She wasn't at all afraid to pull me out of there from among those drunkard looking friends of mine. She walked upto me successfully,she reached me.  She held my hand by my elbow of the another hand and tugged her one hand at my front so that I may not fall forth. I was creeping on her and she was carrying me along. My friends were perhaps upto something. I don't remember. I was a child for that moment. My memory has some specific incidents. I do remember her breakage point,point when her face tightened up. One of them followed her with crawling feet and crossed his fingers through her open locks,She then had a deep breathe that I could hear properly,her eyes were stretched out of anger and the face was pulled out of irritation. I just tumbled and fell on her shoulder again.
She had made it.. I took my first step over the staircases. I didn't get a moment to sum it up but I found her being grabbed behind,I tumbled  again but this time the door was shut over my face. Through the glass view of door I could see her mouth covered by a hand with very distinct complexion to that of her. I beated the door twice,altogether and fell apart hitting the door slightly so that someone unlocks the unlocked door,that I couldn't realize to be unlocked and it be shut during struggle by either of her hand or anything.I offered the gravity to pull me down and air pushing for the same. I slided and bent forward to the door with the head on it.Several shrill screams clinged but I was too lethargic for the moment,my energy withdrew the efforts. After a few minutes the door slided back towards the terrace and I kissed the floor. I didn't even raise.

After sometime I heard a loud scream,a very loud scream. This moment was the longest moment of my life till now. Just a few seconds. This single moment,made me see her,she was on the other side than what I assumed her to be and surprisingly,she was going upstairs? Why was she? eh? leaving me? that as well with a smile? It was a chaos. Major chaos. This moment didn't let me conclude anything and triggered the dilemma ,I ,I..had many thoughts,what if its a way of her to surprise me,like its all the part of any prank,and just now she'll come up to me and would pick me up. Another,moment concluded her to be gone!? Interrobang on my face? What would I be doing if I wouldn't have her further?  would I be making it? Is there anything then after her? How would I react further.. to anything? to my fraility ?
I held the knob of the door and stood though I slipped and hit my both knees . I still stood after it all and crawlled upto them,my friends. I could see a cloak hanging on the edge of it,the terrace,what could that mean? I ran errand to it,fell. I had my chest laid on the ground,my eyes  sown even below. I didn't find her. I had not to react even? so comforting? really? Why did she thought to comfort me upto that extent? It was a sea in front of me. VAST ENOUGH. We both survived and we both died. She left physically,I morally.

I am just making her alive each day.